My Constant Battle

Although having taken my night medicine about three hours ago, I’m still lying here awake albeit a little sleepier but back to being irritable like I was last night. It feels like everything is making me want to yell at it. The only time I was calm was when I was reading The Wolf Gift by Anne Rice. Now, if you know me, I’m a huge bookworm or, like I like to call myself, a book dragon. My blog on blogger is my bookish blog. This one is my personal blog. It’s more about me and my journey on bettering my health…mental and physical. There’s actually so much to tell, even though it doesn’t feel like it sometimes. I guess it’s time to tell my side of things…if someone will just listen. I don’t know who will. I hope someone will. This is just my first blog here. The next one I guess begins my story and begins my journey really.

The constant battle I was referring to in the title is sleep. I take Trazodon and Melatonin for sleep plus I take at least a couple others at night that are supposed to make me sleepy, but there are nights that I struggle going to sleep, if I sleep at all. I know it’s mental. Tonight I’m really sad because it was only a couple weeks ago I found out my favorite author died about 10 months ago (Anne Rice) and she has always held a place in my heart and I guess I’m mourning her a lot later than her other fans. I just finished the book of hers I’ve been reading for a few days so I suppose thats why the sadness over her death is so prominent tonight…this morning. It’s 5 am. I’m not sure how long this insomnia thing has been going on in my life. I know it’s been several years, but EXACTLY how long, I couldn’t really say. I’m jumping around topics, I think. I’ll try to jump on later and maybe be more on track and not so…what’s the word? I don’t know, but I won’t be all over the place with my thoughts. Good night to some and good morning to others.